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Mr Gum and the Dancing Bear
Mr Gum and the Dancing Bear is the fifth Mr Gum book. It starts with a huge bear with glossy fur walking into Lamonic Bibber. He sits down on a bench beneath a statue of Sir Henry Violin, and begins to cry. Polly goes to comfort him, and she decides to call him Padlock. Meanwhile, Mr Gum and Billy William the Third in the Butcher's shop, spot Padlock and decide to kidnap him so that they can charge people to see him dance. Polly tries to cheer Padlock up during the next few days, but she can't figure out what's wrong. Eventually she decides to go and see Alan Taylor, because he knows all about the natural world. Alan Taylor tells Polly that Padlock is suffering from homesickness, and that she should take him back to the Kingdom of the Beasts. That evening, Mr Gum and Billy are disguised as statues, getting ready to snatch Padlock away. And when no-one is nearby, they spring to life and sprint towards Padlock, kicking him and ripping his fur out, and begin dragging him away. When Polly returns to the square, Padlock is gone. But she notices pawprints, and so she follows them over the railway tracks, but then the trail ends. Polly looks up and sees Jonathan Ripples in the air on a giant hot-air balloon called Flavours of Discovery. He tells her he is off around the world to try food in foreign places. He then tells her that Padlock is heading to the docks, but he's not alone. Polly wastes no time in racing down the shabby road to the docks. She goes into a tavern, and finds Mr Gum and Billy parading "Mr Funny" (Padlock) around the stage and making him dance. The sailors all jeer and clap, and when the shows over, Mr Gum and Billy take Padlock out of the tavern into a dark alleyway. While they are counting the money, Polly unbuckles the chains on his ankles and tiptoes away down the alley. Mr Gum spots Polly, and starts to run after her, but Polly pushes some barrels and the villains fall over. The money rolls into an orphanage. When Polly and Padlock reach the water, they jump onto a departing ship. Mr Gum and Billy leap into a little fishing boat called the Dirty Oyster. But the boat is loaded with beer, and the villains get so drunk that they can't see Polly or Padlock anymore. On the boat, Polly discovers that the ship is called the Nantucket Tickler, and the captain is named Captain Brazil. Captain Brazil is very famous and also completely crazy. He tells Polly that she must disguise herself as a boy to fool him (Captain Brazil) but to watch out, because he's not easy to fool. Polly disguises herself with a moustache, and sticks two triangular ears on Padlock and paints "MIAOW" on his side in tar (a cat). Polly introduces herself as Harry Edwards and Padlock as "Purrface Mulligan". Captain Brazil hires them, and Polly decides that life on the Nantucket Tickler is really quite nice. Captain Brazil almost finds out she's a girl when she paints the ship pink with hearts and ponies, but she manages to talk her way out of it. The First Mate, Nimpy Windowmash, teaches Polly all the tricks of the sea, and Padlock doesn't seem quite so sad. Meanwhile, on the Dirty Oyster, the engine is smashed to bits, the beer has run out, and both villains are sunburnt, bitten and half-starved. Billy suggests fishing (since there is a fishing rod and everything), but Mr Gum says it looks like hard work. They are wondering what to do, when they suddenly see land. Back on the Nantucket Tickler, where Polly discovers that the sailors are making Padlock dance. She challenges them, and a huge man named Brendan Jawsnapper readies himself for a fight. Padlock also readies himself. But before the fight starts, Captain Brazil walks in. Brendan Jawsnapper tells the Captain that "Harry Edwards started it" and so Captain Brazil grabs Padlock by the ear, only to have it come off in his hand. He then whips off Polly's moustache and exposes them. Polly tries to protest that he told them to disguise themselves, but Captain Brazil dismisses the suggestion. He decides to tickle them (the punishment aboard the Nantucket Tickler) but the First Mate stands up for them. Captain Brazil decides not to tickle them, but to put on a plank and set adrift the ocean. So in the morning, this happens. The Nantucket Tickler is lost from view and Polly and Padlock are stranded. Polly starts to go mad. Luckily, the two are saved by Jonathan Ripples in his hot-air balloon. He explains that he had a dream from the Spirit of the Rainbow telling him to come and save them. Over the many days on the balloon, Padlock is getting better. They see an island and decide to land there, but Padlock jumps one too many times and the balloon crashes into the trees. They are stranded. There are lots of lovely animals and plants, and Polly realizes they are at the Kingdom of the Beasts. But then they discover that Mr Gum and Billy are also here. They try to make Padlock dance one last time before they take him away, but Padlock refuses. He howls, and hundreds of animals gather around the clearing. They are all gigantic bears. Then other animals start to appear and they make the two villains dance. But Polly stops the animals, and while the animals are creeping away Mr Gum and Billy race off into the jungle, jump on the Dirty Oyster (the engine is repaired) and ride off. When the heroes return to the balloon, they discover it is repaired and loaded with hundreds of fruit chews. Polly says goodbye to Padlock and then her and Jonathan Ripples fly away.